Learning Resilience from the Tales of 14 Uncommon Siblings Raised in Poverty
Key Points:
- Research shows that most children are resilient.
- In adversity, some consistently thrive; some stumble but learn later how to thrive; others permanently fall.
- Even in those who thrive, there are lessons to learn, obstacles to overcome, and often inner wounds to heal.
- “The Kite That Couldn’t Fly” chronicles the continuum of resilience in an exceptional group of children.
Introduction to Resilience and Adversity
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have a profound impact on individuals. Some thrive despite these challenges, while others stumble and eventually learn to thrive, and a few never recover. This blog explores the continuum of resilience through the lens of Michael Menard’s book, “The Kite That Couldn’t Fly: And Other May Avenue Stories,” which tells the story of 14 siblings raised in poverty.
The Story of the Menard Family
The Impact of Childhood Adversities
Michael Menard’s book captures the experiences of growing up in a large, impoverished family near Chicago. Despite their challenging circumstances, many of the Menard children achieved exceptional success in various fields, including athletics and their professions. The family dynamic was marked by both love and struggle, with each child facing their unique set of challenges.
Resilience in the Face of Adversity
Examples from the Menard Family
Michael Menard, largely unsupervised, used his creativity to overcome challenges. He innovatively made gloves from mouse skins and came up with the idea of disposable diapers with elasticized legs. This idea led to significant success and numerous patents. Despite health concerns, Menard found happiness in adulthood.
Contrasting Parenting Styles
The Role of Parents in Shaping Resilience
Menard’s parents had contrasting influences on their children. His mother was loving and spiritual, fostering an environment of gratitude and hope. She made each child feel special and encouraged them to strive for their best. On the other hand, his father, a complex and often harsh figure, taught his children through a mix of negative and valuable lessons.
Lessons from Menard’s Mother
Nurturing Love and Hope
Menard’s mother played a crucial role in instilling resilience. She made her children feel valued and taught them to have gratitude and hope. Her positive influence helped many of the children to thrive despite their circumstances.
Lessons from Menard’s Father
Harsh Lessons and Valuable Insights
Menard’s father, though often critical and harsh, also imparted important lessons. He taught his children to be tenacious, work hard, and stand up to bullies. Despite his negative behaviors, some of his teachings contributed to the resilience of his children.
Outcomes for the Menard Children
Diverse Paths to Success and Struggle
Most of the Menard children achieved success in various fields and were well-liked and respected. However, some faced significant challenges, including medical and mental health issues. Two of the children died of drug overdoses, and others struggled with unresolved trauma.
Stories with a Purpose
Learning from Struggles and Successes
The Menard children’s stories illustrate the power of resilience. Bryant Gill’s quote, “Your struggle is your strength,” encapsulates the theme of overcoming adversity. The Menard children learned to incorporate valuable lessons from their parents while discarding negative influences.
Research on Adverse Childhood Experiences
Understanding the Impact of Adversity
Research shows that children respond to adversity in different ways. Some remain competent and caring throughout their lives, while others stumble but recover in adulthood. The Menard family’s experiences align with these findings, highlighting the importance of unconditional love and hope.
Parenting Styles and Their Influence
The Contrast of Menard’s Parents
Menard’s parents’ contrasting styles significantly impacted their children. The mother’s nurturing and hopeful approach provided a foundation for resilience, while the father’s harsh lessons taught valuable, albeit sometimes painful, lessons.
The Role of Personality Differences
Individual Responses to Adversity
Each of the Menard children had unique strengths, vulnerabilities, and needs. These differences influenced their ability to extract lessons from their parents and siblings and shaped their paths to resilience or struggle.
Lessons from the May Avenue Stories
Overcoming Difficult Circumstances
The May Avenue stories teach us that love, hope, and resilience can overcome the most challenging circumstances. Suffering and adversity do not define who we are; instead, they can help us develop tools and confidence that serve us well in life.
The Importance of Awareness and Action
Supporting Struggling Children
The stories also emphasize the need to be aware of children’s struggles and to parent them according to their unique needs. As adults, it is crucial to take action to heal unresolved wounds and support resilience in others.
The Menard family’s story, as told in “The Kite That Couldn’t Fly,” provides valuable insights into resilience and the impact of adverse childhood experiences. Through love, hope, and resilience, individuals can overcome significant challenges and achieve success. The lessons from the Menard family remind us of the importance of nurturing and supporting each child’s unique needs.
